Of bad attitudes. Mine included.
Having kids is so freaking hard. You wanna know why?! Because you can’t control them!!! They are real people with real feelings, opinions, and attitudes.
When people make statements that kids are a product of their environment or that kids are a reflection of the way they’re parented it has currently been making my skin crawl and heart race with anxiety. I instantly feel sized up and like a failure because though I’m freaking busting my ass in this parenting game at times it truly does appear as though my children are raised by wolves! They are so ridiculously strong willed that at 3 and 4 years old they will say no to me without even batting an eye and continue on with whatever they are doing. I try and be a calm cool and collected mom and it gets me nowhere. I try and be a yes mom and it only ends up driving me insane. I try being very strict and they aren’t phased. At times I even go insane and behave like a foolish child myself and raise my voice and shout out threats that I may or may not follow through with and again they could care less. It’s truly mind blowing at times. I’m currently in a moment or week or month or year… Who knows… of total weakness. I feel like I couldn’t be more under this whole motherhood thing. I am without a doubt failing. I’m out of energy and ideas.
I just wrote all of that to just get it off my chest. I’m not seeking advice. I don’t even know if anyone out there is reading this. But whatever. I said it.
Maybe I’ll start doing a daily wrap up of how things are panning out over here. If I try new stuff- what works what doesn’t. Hopefully small victories and an entirely new season shortly!
Sooooo… Until next time I’ll just be here trying to hang on.
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